Over the weekend we went to the Encounter God retreat with the rest of our Church.  During that time I received a quick glimpse of something from the Holy Spirit. Here it is as best as I can describe it.  The words first and the accompanied image after.

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Be a man with a Ram's Horn on his back ready to call forth and declare the Glory of the Lord in all places at all times against the powers of darkness for the joy and edification of the righteous. Call forth the Glory. Call forth the Favor. Call forth the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, of the Sacrifice of the Savior, of the spirit of the Father, of Other.

This was accompanied by an image of a man in gray pants and a gray flannel shirt with a big Ram's Horn strapped to his back loosely like a quiver of arrows standing on top of a rocky crest.  I had the sense that he was always ready to blow that Ram's horn to call forth the armies of the Lord God.

As you all know, I'm diabetic.  I've been diabetic since I was 25 when one day a switch just turned off inside me and I started getting sicker.  I produced insulin before that day and stopped producing insulin on that day.  So for the last 7 years I've had to take insulin to survive.  Since I came down with this, my resistance to insulin has steadily increased to the point where as of 2 weeks ago I would have to take 50 units of Novalog minimum for every meal.  Novalog is my fast acting-insulin that I take when I eat.  I also take 200 units daily of Lantus which is the slow acting insulin that lasts the entire day and gives me a steady supply of energy.  Well last week, I attempted to fast for 2 days. A liquids only fast where I wouldn't eat any solid food unless it was in a soup or something.  I failed miserably the first day (Monday) but I succeeded fasting on the second day.

Since that day I've been checking my sugars and eating as usual as I perceive it, however...I have not had to take as much insulin.  Not nearly the amount of insulin that I normally go through.  I would usually go through a bottle of insulin in about a week and I'm working on 2 weeks into this bottle without it even half gone this time.   I've been having to worry about hypoglycemic reactions lately rather than hyper ones.  This is a miracle in my eyes.  And I am still continually amazed every time I look at my sugar levels. 

When I got home today I was at 65 for my sugar levels!  I haven't seen a sugar level over 160 for 10 days.  Thank you lord and praise you!

With love and with amazement.

Dan Gidman

For the last 3 weeks I have been doing the Daniel fast ^{(Dan 1:12)} with the rest of my fellowship at the Rock of KC.  This is a corporate fast that is conducted every year in January for 21 days.  The purpose of the fast is to come into greater communion with God for this time and be devoted to seeking God's face, will and touching him.

For me, this was my first fast ever and was an interesting experience.  I entered the fast struggling with an apparent withdrawal of the presence of God in my mind and perception.  A time of dryness is what it felt like. Its why I haven't been writing since Christmas time here, because I have been struggling with the lack of the Holy Spirit in my day to day existence.  Of course, I realize that the Holy Spirit doesn't really ever leave you, he is always there, just as God is always there as it is God's Holy Spirit.  But I was listless without that manifest feeling of his presence.

During this time, the revelation of what I was reading and what was in the bible was also absent for the most part.  If you have never experienced it, you may not understand what I'm talking about, but I'm referring to that moment when a connection is made in your head, totally outside of your own study and mind, a eureka moment of understanding that is totally inspired revelation of the Holy Spirit.  Its an exciting moment and feeling to get that eureka moment.  Those moments are what drive me to write and record my thoughts because I don't want to lose them in the hum drum of the day to day.  So, the lack of those moments meant I really didn't have an instigation to write and put down a marker of this moment.

I'm rambling on a bit and I apologize for that, but I wanted to get out the journey I've been on here.

So, I started the fast on the 7th of January and it ended today with a communion at the Portal (that's the name of the building we all have teaching and worship in on Sunday). During the communion I also recieved my first "Eureka" moment since before the fast started.  I'll get to that at the end here.  However first I want to share what I learned during this fast.

• I learned over this time that without God I can easily fall into my sinful ways and do it even though I hate it at the same time.   
• I learned that even if I don't feel God with me, I can pray, trust in him and have faith regardless and the strength, anointing and perseverance will be there to draw upon.  
• I learned to turn to him even when I don't feel like it or fell close to him.  
• I learned that I can fallow Jesus, not because of the great feeling of being in his presence, not like a junkie who needs the next fix, but rather like the traveler who has seen the promised land, seen the destination and so has hope and perseverance to continue on because he knows where he is going.  Well in this case, knows who he is going to see. 
• I learned that even when I don't like the God that I read about in the Bible, I still love him.
• I learned that my God is not someone I can put in the lovey-dovey box, that he is bigger and more complex than I can ever figure out.
• I learned that faith is difficult, but its still a decision, an action of saying "I trust you Lord" and then doing what he tells you too.   Sometimes that thing he tells you to do is simply wait.
• I learned that I love my Jesus

More mundanely I also learned that I kind of like the Daniel fast.  Not only is it named for me (ha ha), its very agreeable to my taste buds. About the only thing I truly missed was my sandwich that I get once a week from Tiende Casa Paloma.  Yes, I just did a plug for my favorite Mexican restaurant.  I'm looking forward to next year when I can focus more on God in the fast then being as enamored with doing my fast for the first time.  I think I may start doing a weekly or bi-weekly day of fasting and see how that works out.

Moving on...

We had communion tonight, it was short and to the point.  It was preceded by a song or two of worship and praise of God then some pray, communion and fellowship for about half an hour.  Jesus created the practice of the Lord's Supper as it is known.  Its recorded in Mathew like this:

Mt 26:26–29 (ESV) -Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

I think the order in which Jesus does this is very intentional.  But God instituted the Lord's Supper thousands of years before.  Consider:

Ge 1:29 (ESV) -And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.

Jesus first took the bread, the product of the plants that yield seed.  He said that it was his body, it was sustenance and food for the soul.  God gave to us before our fall the plants and fruits of the garden and of the world to be our food and sustenance.  One of those plants given was the Tree of Life.  He specifically did not give us animals to eat in the 6 days of creation.  God set up the model years and years before hand to illustrate Jesus as being the sustenance of the soul and spirit, the bread of life.

Immediately fallowing the fall of Man the first sacrifice, the first sin offering is made.  I am surmising its a sin offering as it is not explicitly told us that it is a sin offering.  However its a pretty solid interpretation given the context of the rest of the bible.

Ge 4:4 (ESV) -and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering,

Jesus then took the cup of wine.  He said that it was his blood, the shed blood (poured out) for the forgiveness of sins.  Jesus was the firstborn of God and was the choicest portion.

So Jesus is our sustenance our life giver and sustenance, just as the fruit and vegetables given to us by God in the beginning was the sustenance of our physical selves.  Jesus was also the firstborn sacrifice for our sins.  His shed blood covered our punishment, just as the firstborn of the flock covered Abel's and Israel's punishment.

So now I see.  Gen 1:29 & 4:4 is basically one of God's foreshadowing of Jesus who institutes a remembrance of himself within the Lord's Supper. ^{(Mat 26:26-29)}

Now that is just cool.  Thank you Lord Jesus for your word to me this evening.

I woke up at around 12:30 am Tuesday morning with a concept that I couldn't get out of my head.  I woke up wide awake with the phrase "the biblical proof of salvation".   Proof as in a mathematical proof that proves a theorem.  Now, I don't know if it is appropriate to use the practices of mathematics on everything in the Bible, but truth is truth regardless. I spent 2 hours on this and it started with this idea.

"The law of minimalism" 

Sounds big and important but it basically is a concept of logic that if a set of conditions result in an outcome and a second set of conditions inclusive but greater than the first also result in the same outcome then only the first set is needed to get the outcome.


For use within my thought I wrote this that night.

If a set of conditions are directly stated to result in a fact or action and a second set of conditions, inclusive of the first set but greater is also stated to result in the same fact or action as the firs condition set, then only the lesser of the two condition sets is truly needed to accomplish said fact or action.

Given that I went on and started reading from the beginning of John. I was looking for where it speaks of salvation and how salvation is achieved.  There is some context that I need to keep mindful of here as well.  The crucifixion and such doesn't happen till the end of John but Jesus speaks very directly about Everlasting Life in many passages and how it is obtained.  I would read Everlasting Life as being synonymous with salvation in that context.

I'm not quite ready to write about this yet but its been percolating in my brain for the past week and the more I read and research, the more shortcomings I find with this idea of the law of minimalism.  However I did want to record part of Wednesday night home church here.

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First however for my Aunt Gloria. 

I'm sorry you found offense in what I wrote last time.  It was not meant to be offensive although in retrospect I can see how it is.  In that regard I do apologize and do so publicly.  You are stating to me that we can not both be right in our belief on baptism and what it does or signifies.  If it is true, as I believe, that an individual must believe in Jesus and his redemption of us through the crucifixion and rise to life on the 3^rd day to receive sanctification before God then belief in the Sacrament of Baptism as practiced by the Catholic Church is wrong and has led many astray.  However this is only true if my understanding of the Catholic Church doctrine is true.  I fully acknowledge my own capability for error here. 

To the heart of the underlying issue however.

Do I discount the necessity for baptism?  No, far from it. It is both an act of obedience and of spirit. It is a declaration of allegiance, a partaking of the marriage wine, a celebration of life and a representation of birth among other things.  The spiritual significance of baptism in undeniable and clearly stated several times in various places within the NT.  Acts 10:44-47 however, clearly shows the sanctification of gentiles prior to baptism by evidence of the gift of the Holy Spirit. They did not let that suffice and were baptized immediately but the order of events is clearly demonstrating a reality of belief as the instigation of sanctification.  Also, remember Mark 16:16, where Jesus said you must believe and be baptized but if you do not believe you are condemned.  Even there, belief by the individual is absolutely essential because its lack is the only proof of condemnation, while belief and baptism are both positive proofs of salvation.

That fact, that not believing alone is condemnation, is the guideline that is needed to put the necessities of salvation in proper perspective.

Jesus himself stated this and he is the final authority.

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On to House Church

Wednesday we had the Christmas celebration for my house church.  We had an assignment for the evening as well.  We were all given a number to pray about to see if the Lord would give us a word to give to the person this number represented and give it to that person at house church.  I got #8, Jamie got #15.  Of course Jamie got something for her person right away and I struggled with mine.  I don't role in the "prophetic" much I think. Now Jamie was given a word from Camilla Berrett and I received mine from David Mohr.

I'll have to post a picture of the one Camilla put together, it was beautifully presented and a wonderful message.  Here however I'll record what David wrote for me.

Your are clothed in white.  I see you walking on water with the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing on you and swirling around you.  You are walking confidently, especially, for someone walking on water!  With a peaceful smile on your face, you are walking with a purpose, a destination in mind.

The Lord is increasing your faith!  He is developing the faith you already have within you.  Faith that can walk on water! (Figuratively speaking, perhaps literal ☺)

There is a purpose to your walk!  The Lord is revealing more of your destiny, more of who you are as a son/daughter of the Most High God.  This gives you a confident walk toward the destination ahead.

Thank you much David for your word.

The last two weeks, well less than two weeks, but never-the-less, since my baptism, I have been struggling with a feeling of silence, or absence of God's voice and presence in my life.  The feeling of reciprocation that I have had and found great joy in since I truly committed myself to Christ had dried up.  This left me perplexed, and it left me somewhat adrift.  I continued my reading, continued praying, continued trying to seek Jesus out, yet I felt like I wasn't finding him.

I have talked with several about this feeling and my understanding based on the advice and testimony of their walks is that this kind of thing occurring is not an uncommon thing.  They said that God moved in cycles in this regard, move strongly in you, then give you some time to process.  My father explains it better.  Well, they all have experienced it and I'm somewhat still in the "honeymoon" phase of my walk with Christ.  I pray I never leave that phase, but God's will be done, not mine.

So The first 7 days of this or so went ok.  Things felt somewhat empty but I persevered, read, prayed and sought.  But, I felt empty and after a while I started seeking old pleasures.  As I was doing this I resisted or fell down but yet still turned to God immediately afterward and sought him harder, seemingly to no avail.  Yesterday, I prayed out to him, "I know your here and always here, but I miss you God"  God had withdrawn his presence and I really missed him.  I couldn't seem to find him.

Today, Jamie had to use the car, so I was home alone for several hours during the day.  I felt lonely, somewhat despondent and I knew it was wrong, that it saddened my Jesus but I turned from him and turned to old pleasures.  Jamie, came home in the middle of that struggle I was losing.  She needed a couple of things for her class and wasn't feeling well.  I got stuff ready, brought it out to the car and drove her to her class.

However, I knew if I went home right then I would continue to turn away from Jesus.  I couldn't do it, it wasn't in me to do it.  I HAD to have him back as a tangible presence again.  He is life and I can't live without him.  So instead of going home I went to IHOP.  I went feeling unworthy, feeling lonely and desperate to get Jesus back in immediacy.  I practically ran there feeling like a lost little child who can't find his dad.

I went in, expecting to find a seat somewhere and be miserable or something but once I walked through those doors and into the music and praise and worship and soul crying out of those hundreds for Jesus, I could not be reticent.  I walked right up to in front of the chairs and just cried out "LORD SAVE ME" in my spirit and practically weeping as I sang horribly with crowd.  Even now as I write this, the emotion of it is so high in my throat I could weep even now.

I cried out:

"Where is my salvation Lord, You are my salvations Jesus!"
"Where is my savior Lord, You are my savior Jesus!"
"Where is my help from, Your are my help Jesus!"

I felt the anguish that David must of felt when he wrote his psalm.

I cried out for Jesus and tonight he answered.  I practically danced I felt him around me so strongly.  I'm a big guy and I'm not very expressive with my body in that regard.  I tend to be somewhat reserved in nature there but tonight, I was moving around rather freely.  I sang my heart out and gloried in feeling the tangible presence of Jesus almost like he was right in front of me and we were hugging.  It was TOTALLY AWESOME.  If you've seen the movie "The Incredibles", I'm like the little kid on the tricycle at the end of the movie right now.

Well during that entire extremely wonderful, totally awesome, incredibly overpowering and uplifting and reaffirming experience, one of the singers started singing this line.

"And we will drink the marriage wine in that day"

I don't know what praise song this is from but when he sung it, John's telling of Jesus turning the water to wine was brought to mind and I didn't really realize the significance of it till now.  In fact there is even further significance to that miracle when you look at it more closely.  The HS brought that story to my mind and the message to me at that time from the HS was that the water he turned to wine was the water of baptism which is the wine of celebration for the marriage between Jesus and our spirits.  Here is the story in full.  You'll probably see what I saw very quickly given that message just as I did when I came and read it this evening.

Jn 2:1–12 (ESV) - On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him. After this he went down to Capernaum, with his mother and his brothers and his disciples, and they stayed there for a few days.

This miracle surrounds the entire event of a wedding. That is a context of extreme importance.  The time of Jesus's wedding to us had not come here.  His wedding to those who believe in him is his crucifixion and rise from the dead.  We know that this is the "time" that he is referring to because he had already started his ministry.  By the time the wedding occurred he had already been baptized by John and called his first disciples.  The only time that he can then be referring to is his redemption of us sinners.  Combine that with the context of the wedding event and we see that he does not view this as HIS wedding so asks, "what does this have to do with me?" ^{Jn 2:4} This turns the entire event of the wedding at Cana into a representation of the wedding of Jesus to his church, namely us.

Given that foundation, we can very quickly take that parallel down to its conclusion of events.  Mary tells the servants to go and do whatever Jesus commands.  Jesus commanded us to spread the good news, baptize and make disciples of all nations.  The act of baptism is a representation of being reborn into Christ, into purity and righteousness.  The jars that were filled with water were likewise jars reserved for use in purification rites.  That is a clear and plain connection between the baptism and the water use here in the mirical.  The wine is "The Good Wine" that is used in celebration of the wedding.  It is in effect a wine of celebration of the marriage that previously occurred.  So conversely it teaches us that baptism is the water of celebration of our marriage to Christ that previously occurred on the cross and in our belief in Jesus.

Of significance also, this is evidence of the purpose and intention of the act of baptism.  My aunt Gloria has been sharing with me some of the Catholic belief on baptism.  Of how, according to Catholic belief, it is a sacramental act that bestows sanctification upon a person by the intention of the priest who performs the baptism.  So in essence, the act of baptism becomes the actual act of marriage between Jesus and ourselves.  The Catholic church is wrong in this belief and lead many astray due to it.  Thank you Jesus for giving us another representation of YOUR view of baptism.

Thank you lord for your gift to me this night of insight.

I was baptized on November 29th, 2009 around Noon.

My father baptized me with my Mother and Jamie, my wife looking on.

Thank you lord Jesus for your salvation.

Today, I get baptized!

Well, I'm actually writing this on Tuesday, but posting it today. I'm scheduling it for the approximate time I am baptized. So, in extreme excitement, I'm going to do a post about what I have learned about baptism. Some of these things I've spoken of before, but some I have not.

There are three baptisms that I know of. They are the baptisms of

• Christ
• Water
• the Holy Spirit

It's fitting that there are three baptisms. Three is a holy number that is repeated throughout the Bible. The two that are referred to directly in the Bible are the "baptism of water" and "the baptism of the Holy Spirit". This is significant because both of those baptisms are public displays or proclamations of the first baptism, that is "the baptism of Christ". And what is the baptism of Christ? Simply it is the believing in Jesus, that He was the Son of God, that He died to pay the debt of sin and that He rose on the third day to give you everlasting life in Him and the confession of that to others. That is the first baptism that occurs in truth for all believers.

The baptism of Christ is pronounce throughout many parts of the Bible. Some quick references for you would be these.

Jn 3:16–18 (ESV) - "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God."

Ro 10:8–11 (ESV) - ...The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame."

Mt 10:32–33 (ESV) -"So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven."

Now, of course, we can not take the line "with the mouth" too literally here. God is about the heart above all things and it is physically impossible for some to actually speak. The idea here is that they confess their belief publicly. But let's throw a couple of scenarios out here.

What if in the throws of delirium and death, a man comes to believe in Christ, but can not confess his belief? He's dying, delirious, yet he has just believed. Is that man saved? Does that man spend eternity with Christ? He has not confessed before men, he has not made any public demonstration, he hasn't had the opportunity to do so. I contend that God is the God of grace and over and over again he looks to the heart condition of the person. Circumstance can and will interfere with everything that a person is capable of doing, but the heart is true regardless.

I think the truly important thing is this. Do not deny Jesus before men. However, let's take a moment here to remember that God is sovereign. He is the God of Grace and has said that as many times as a man sins against you and turns and asks forgiveness, forgive them. Would he tell us any differently than he does himself? Are we not in Christ and is Christ not in us?

The second and third baptisms don't come in any specific order. Nominally the baptism of the Holy Spirit will happen after the baptism of water. Just as all those that were baptized by the Holy Spirit in Acts 2:1-4 were previously baptized by Jesus or John in water, so usually within the Bible itself does the baptism of the H.S. happen after the baptism of water. There is one major exception that occurs that I have discovered so far. There may be more, but I haven't read them yet.
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Ac 10:44–11:1 (ESV) - "While Peter was still saying these things, the Holy Spirit fell on all who heard the word. And the believers from among the circumcised who had come with Peter were amazed, because the gift of the Holy Spirit was poured out even on the Gentiles. For they were hearing them speaking in tongues and extolling God. Then Peter declared, “Can anyone withhold water for baptizing these people, who have received the Holy Spirit just as we have?” And he commanded them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked him to remain for some days. Now the apostles and the brothers who were throughout Judea heard that the Gentiles also had received the word of God."

Here God baptizes in the Holy Spirit before they are baptized in Water. Why is this significant? Well it shows that the baptism of the Holy Spirit is more than the impartation of power to back up the authority they already have. The baptism of the Holy Spirit is also a public proclamation. Just as we proclaim our belief and changed being to the public via the baptism of Water, God proclaims our belief and changed being to the public via the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

So, we believe Christ, proclaim that belief to the public via the ACTION of baptism in water and God anoints us with the tongue of flame that is the Holy Spirit^{Acts 2:3} as a statement that we are HIS children.

This is also shown in the baptism of Jesus by John.^{Mat 3:13-17} After Jesus is baptized, the Holy Spirit descends upon him like a Dove and God proclaims "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased"^{Mat 3:17} God proclaimed Jesus his child when the Holy Spirit descended upon Jesus, so also does he proclaims us his children when the baptism of the Holy Spirit comes upon us. However, Jesus was the Son of God before the proclamation, so also are we children of God before the baptism of the Holy Spirit because we were born in Jesus through the baptism of Christ, through his death and resurrection.

So, as yet I haven't been baptized in the Holy Spirit, well as of this writing, I can't speak for between now and the actual posting on Sunday. But I look forward with great excitement to my Proclamation to the world.

I am a Son of God, because Jesus is my Lord and HE was the First Son of God and payed the debt of death for my sin by dying on the cross, then redeemed my death to life by rising from the dead three days later. And just as he is sat at the right hand of God in heaven, so am I now sat at the right hand of God in heaven, not in the future when this earthly body dies, but right now in the present I am sat there, my name written on the throne in the genealogy of God, a prince of heaven.

Praise be to God!

I'll post the actual baptism video later when I get it.