Read: John 2:1 - 5:47

I haven't done a Quiet Time post in a while and I got something pretty significant out of today's that I thought I should share. However, let me first start out with an experience, a wonderful experience that I had Friday that I do not want to lose the memory of.

I have been seeking people to be in fellowship with, not for the purpose of being in fellowship, for only Jesus is the one to truly be in fellowship with, but rather so that I can more perfectly follow Jesus. God has directed us as Christians to be accountable to each other^{(Eph 5:21)} and to be as "iron to iron" where we sharpen our faith,^{(Pr 27:17)} our knowledge and build each other up by the testament of other Christians^{(Eph 4:11-12)}. So I have been seeking "fellow iron".

Well I opened several doors, or knocked at least and they were shut on me, or not recognized as a knock. This is not to say that those who didn't recognize were at fault or anything but, this was not God's will. If it had been, then God would of removed every obstacle and made the path clear. But he didn't. And during all of this seeking, I ignored, or didn't even think of the person that has been present in my life for 3 years.

Well, earlier last week--I think it was Wednesday--I had the door shut on me, kindly and appropriately by another one I knocked on and I talked with God. To paraphrase:

You (God) have been shutting these doors on me and I am not seeking these people through you. I desire to have someone or group or something to fellowship with, not because I desire the group, it is you I desire, but how can I be sure, how can I be accountable and how can I be steady without those to walk with? I'm seeking in the wrong places, you are showing this to me by shutting the doors. What do I do? Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

And immediately what came to my mind was the name of Stan. I have been working with Stan for 3 years now I think and I have always felt in him the same thing I felt in my parents and in my older brother and his wife. That effervescent sense of life! Its something I can't explain, but something I recognize when I'm in the presence of it. I have only felt that in a few people. To me it is a sure indication, a confirmation in my spirit that these people are Christians in truth and not in culture.

However, I have been ignoring, or not even thinking of Stan in all of this seeking. My mom had suggested him several times, but I dismissed it out of hand. I don't know what was going through my head, but it wasn't God. So anyway, when Stan came to mind, I thought I'll call him. But I second guessed myself, I hemmed and hawed and resisted. I didn't want to interrupt him and didn't know what to say and I thew a myriad of reasons not to call him. So I didn't call him. But the thought wouldn't go away. I needed to talk to him. I needed to contact him right then in that moment because if I didn't then I would be denying what God had directed me to do.

I can't deny what God directs me to do. I must do it. You must act in that moment that God gives you the direction to do it right then. He doesn't always do that; he doesn't always direct that you act right then, but when he does, you better do it. Faith requires action and if God has directed immediately, then having that faith in him requires that you ACT immediately on that faith. Don't get me wrong, this is not a duty, this is an act of adoration of worship! I'll explain what I mean later by that.

Regardless, God directed me to contact Stan immediately. And I couldn't call him, I threw up to many roadblocks. So I decided to IM him. I love IM. Its such a wonderful communication tool. Allows us to contact and talk without being intrusive to the work day. So, I IM'd him and the response was immediately different from every single seeking that I initiated separately from the asking of God. Oh, what a lesson there! Every endeavor I initiated failed, the door was shut or not opened. But the single one that God gave me after asking succeeded immediately and beyond my wildest imagination. Praise God!

We did some logistics and it was decided between us that we would start out with a lunch on Friday. I have been sequestered down at a client location in southern Overland Park for the last month and the project was ending Thursday, so the timing worked out perfectly. And Stan is pretty busy too. He is taking care of his family, working, and doing a lot of stuff with his fellowship.

Well, we had lunch, and it was a blast. It went by so fast that I hardly remember it all. He invited Jamie & I to go to a city-wide prayer meeting that evening. I was all for it, but I couldn't out of hand commit Jamie to it. When we get back to the office I talked with Jamie and she didn't feel up to it but gave me the ok to go. So I took the rest of the afternoon to be home with her and then went to Stan's place to go to the prayer meeting that evening.

We got there; I was watching their little one. (Which is so unlike me, I am always unwilling to watch them and hold them and such, but that was the old me). I met a guy by the name of Paul. He reminded me of Christopher Rinkleff. Same build, same facial structure but soft spoken. I had to get my head straight because he is not Chris so I did not want to hold Paul to the preconceived impressions I have of Chris. We talked for 40 minutes or so. I'm just having a hay day holding and bouncing Stan's little one around and talking to Paul. I got introduced to a couple of others but its Paul I'm talking to mostly. Seemed like a one sided conversation--I don't think I shut up.

Well, the meeting started with praise, singing and dancing and some people on their knees, some on there faces praying. I'm not uncomfortable, but I'm looking at this and I keep looking or glancing over at these people who are dancing and praying so fervently during worship and I feel a bit of contempt, I feel self righteous and think to myself what are they doing? And then it dawns on me, how am I different in that thought than the pharisees and scribes who looked at Jesus and saw with contempt and self righteousness the work of God? Who am I to look at this and pass judgment? I am wrong!

So right there I started praying, I prayed out load and I don't remember all that I prayed, but I prayed against myself, I prayed to be broken of the spirit of condescension, of contempt, of self righteousness. I prayed that the word "No" would be removed from my vocabulary when it comes to Jesus and that all I would ever say is "Yes". I declare that "No" is barred from me and "Yes" is my answer in everything, I asked for forgiveness, I renounceed those thoughts and I cast out any spirit or enemy that would inject those thoughts into me. I prayed for a good while I think, I don't know how long. The entire night was like 4 hours but it passed in a heartbeat.

So the worship changed from singing to prayer. The leaders spoke a little bit and people would bring up a verse or a song or something and pray it and I sat down to look for something. I started to just look and browse through the bible, but it again dawned on me. Why am I seeking to bring a verse out of my human desire for inclusion or participation? Is God putting a verse in me? Is God directing me to do something? No he isn't, so stop looking and just receive. Soon after a woman got up and prayed a simple song, it was poignant and powerful and moved me to tears and I felt connected to these people and connected more importantly to the Holy Spirit.

There was some instruction after that and I'll share a diagram that was passed around. This is my own version of the diagram as I don't have a scanner. It starts from the center with ABBA, with Father God and the Heart of a Father being the core of a movement back to Christ, faith and worship in spirit and in truth.

I won't go into it totally and some of it I don't understand, especially as it goes further out in the circles. But, I don't need to understand it, it is not my purpose to prove or disprove it. If it is of God then by following Jesus and following the leading of the Holy Spirit then God's will and desire will be done regardless of the accuracy or inaccuracy of any diagram.

And throughout all of this night, I heard teaching and principle and prayer and humility that confirmed all that I had learned in reading what little I have read of the Bible. I have only ready a little bit for myself. Genesis, Exodus, Mathew, Mark & Luke. A smattering of Romans and Hebrews and Ephesians. The rest I will get to eventually. As you can see at the top of the page, I'm into John now.

I felt at home there, at peace and belonging. These are people filled with the spirit and filled with passion and in the past, I have run from these people, I have avoided them or felt fearful of them. They were like a strong spice that is just too much to be palatable. But now, it felt like home. So, I will walk with them until God leads me otherwise.

I told Stan during this.

He smiled real big at me and nodded. So be prepared Mom & Dad, I may not be able to give you much notice on when this happens, but my waiting is over, I'm seeking it now actively.

There are 3 parts to being a Christian, but only one is necessary. However, the one that is necessary is confirmed to those on earth through Baptism of Water and Baptism of the Holy Spirit. These baptisms are not meant to show that you are a Christian and believe in Jesus to God! God knows your heart and the minute, the very second, the very moment you believe you are saved! These baptisms are to show to the world that you are a Christian. There is your act of faith, the Baptism of Water. Then there is God's proclamation that you are his, the Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

Acts 10:44-47 shows that God does proclaim people as his even without the Baptism of Water. Yet they still followed up in faith by being baptized in water. Acts 8:17 shows as well that the Baptism of the Holy Spirit can and does come after the Baptism of water.

I have been seeking the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, but I have been wrong in this. God's gift of baptism is something you do not seek as if you could buy it. Not that I was seeking to buy it, but is the heart that seeks to buy it any different than the heart that seeks it for its the sake of the gift alone? I can not claim that I sought the baptism of the Holy Spirit for the sake of Jesus. So as yet, because I have sought the Baptism of the Holy Spirit out of a wrong heart, it has been denied. So God, I have asked for forgiveness for this and I have renounced the seeking of it. If and when you choose to proclaim me as yours then let it be received with a clean heart and a right motive.

However, the Baptism of Water is an act of faith and that I choose to do. I will proclaim that I am his regardless of his proclamation that I am his.

---

I should probably get to what I actually wanted to show and record that I learned today. I have this thought in my head that I should split this into two posts and hold one off till tomorrow, but I'm not writing this for anyone but me, so I'll do it all in this single post.

Jn 4:23–24 (ESV) - "But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

When people think of worship, they think of singing, praising, hymns and psalms and doing something verbal. Others also add to that dancing and praying and other things. I do not mean to disregard those things as worship, but I do not believe that this was the worship that Jesus is referring to. Spirit and in Truth. All these things that are called worship are born of the flesh. They are our expressions that we in our flesh do to honor God, to worship him. This is not to say that they are wrong, or that they are vanity. They could be, but they are not necessarily so.

Jesus said Mt 6:5 (ESV) -“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward."

This public prayer, and also public worship and praise is not necessarily real. It is not by definition vanity but it could be. What he is talking about is the heart. The heart worshiping God does not care about whether people are seeing the worship or the prayer. The heart that is worshiping God will do it in private where it can not be heard or seen because it is FOR GOD that they do it. ^{(Mt 6:6)}

How does this relate to worshiping in spirit and truth?

Jn 3:5–6 (ESV) -Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.”

The spirit can not be seen, it can only be felt and heard ^{(Jn 3:8)} Thus when you worship in spirit it can not be seen, it can only be felt and heard. But what is worshiping in spirit? How do we know if someone is worshiping in Spirit? By their fruits!

Ga 5:22–23 (ESV) -But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

These things are like seeing the leaves on a tree blow, you know the wind is there because you feel it and see its effects, but you can not see the wind itself. So what is "in truth". Sincerity, truth, to me it is pretty self explanatory. If you are really worshiping you are doing it for real, in truth, rather than for acclaim and reward here on earth, or in heaven. You are worshiping because you truly love and worship God & Jesus.

So how does worshiping in spirit and truth play out? Faith! and acts based on faith. Do as God directs you without regard to perception or outcome. Do it in private and do it in public without regard to location. It is for God you do it and if someone should witness it, God will use your acts of faith for his kingdom. And if no one should witness it, well no matter, it is for God and to God you do it.

Caution however, be sure of your heart and your motive for your public worship, be centered and focused on God, on Jesus and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. Because if you aren't... “Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward." ^{(Mt 6:5)}